A Mother's Sacrifice

 

Sometimes I miss you in the sunshine
Sometimes I miss you when the wind blows
Sometimes I really miss you in the sunshine
Sometimes I really miss you, sometimes

 

Most times I see you smiling in the window
As you open the shutters to peek through my heart
Most times I hear you calling me don’t run don’t go
As you try to grab unto my shadow and keep it nailed to your mat

 

Most times I feel you breathing down my neck tenderly
Those times you held me close and caressed me sweetly
Most times I try to grab hold of that memory
These times I become drained and it enervates me

 

Yet sometimes I can smell your perfume from the rest of my bed
As I try to expunge the past and empty what’s left in my head
Sometimes I feel you pressing gently against my bitter stead
Just about the time when I’m rocked cause of a life so dread

 

This time I know that I can’t run away from happiness
This time I know that there’s no glorious shout
This time I taste the promiscuous sadness
Too much sadness in sad for someone filled with doubt

 

Sometimes I miss you when it rains
Sometimes I miss you on cloudy days
Sometimes I really miss you when it rains
Sometimes I really miss you in so many ways

 

Life is filled with ups and downs, U-turns and speed bumps
No one has it perfect and none is without yearn
Nothing is sure, not life not love or its seemingly endless humps
Nothing, but death with its silent echoes and confident churn

 

But even with this obvious truth and purposeful exploit
The uncertainties, the sureties, the propensities and the obvious choice
I stand motionless and speechless, with you adroit
And I hunger and call out for past with a non-vocal voice

 

The thirst that will tempt me to drink from a cup that’s not mine
The hunger that will drive me to eye a plate and sip a wine
The pride that will paralyze me and my freedom confine
Will remain as true love I may never find

 

A heart that’s torn becomes a beautiful whore
An ego that’s bruised often seeks to settle score
With life a purpose must be sought to sustain
Otherwise a living dead is what you will maintain

 

So these things I know and I have learnt to accept
I will love, hate, fear, cry, smile cause I’m human, frail and bereft
All times I will miss you for you and the passion that wept
All times I will need you, but I WILL choose God and what’s left